LIKEABILITY ... among other qualities and character traits, our kids need likeability. It's what brings favor, honor, respect from others, and leads to future 'promotability'. Likeability is defined as:
When a conflict's resolution is about power, the question of right & wrong is sidestepped, creating a profound distortion of what apology is meant to be.
Curse of the Good Girl by Rachel Simmons (page 72)
I'm thoroughly enjoying reading this book at the moment and this statement above caught my attention. The book breaks down the issues with how, primarily girls, deal with conflict and try to maintain their "Good Girl" status in the process. It's becoming more clear with each turn of the page that they are not doing a good job with conflict resolution. And, thankfully, it further affirms the need to teach girls AND boys how to properly deal with and resolve conflict ... for the present and future health of their relationships throughout life!
Friendship Fixer lessons make a big point about understanding the contribution to the conflict, properly dealing with it ... and remembering that it doesn't end with apology. We like to say, "A friendship is fully fixed when forgiveness is found."
So, what do you think apology is meant to be? I'd love to hear your thoughts.
(NOTE: While I don't appreciate some of the language used in the book it's clear the author is maintaining the integrity of direct quotes from the groups of pre-teen and teen girls she has been doing research with at her Institute.)
Wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, lover of dark chocolate and books, the beach, healthy living, meaningful education, and of course, friendship.